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I do understand that this is how a lot of men think, however, all it causes me to feel is bitter. I have to contort myself into a pretzel and be his moral gate keeper because he basically doesn’t want to take responsibility for how he behaves toward women sexually or otherwise. I know the guys in your video mean well..I guess..but they had kind of flippant attitudes about the whole think. Like “hey this is just how guys are, haha.” I found this video depressing. I do not have sex with men early on but I think it’s a bad message to continue to give to women and men that women are the ones that must remain the sexual gate keepers. It’s under the idea that a man can’t be expected to control himself and when you go after what you both may one, sex, a woman still gets punished for enjoying her sexuality. All of it is on the guy’s terms. Well I am sorry, this just is upsetting. I didn’t like how either of these men talked about women in your video Marni.
Do you know what I find sexy? A man who doesn’t try to get into my pants the first date. A man who says, “I want to respect this owman because I want to get to know her and I don’t want to place all the responsibility on her to *behave*, while I’m allowed to act out and then disgard her.” Maybe it’s time we start teaching that instead of continuing to teach women that it’s up to them to not only control their sexuality but also to control men’s while men do not have to take accountability for how they set women up to fail in this dynamic.
Welllll… we just may have some dating dens about that
Check this one out: http://youtu.be/tihkeGi4J_I Keep watching and commenting! Big hugs, Marni
Thank you so much for commenting, Rosie. I’m so happy you liked the video. Keep watching and keep sharing your wisdom! Big hugs, Marni
LOL, I wish I could inspire him to feel very strongly about me 😉
You’re so onto it Marni. Glad to see you put how the woman would feel, even if at the end of the video. It’s important to consider how men feel of course, but I think we sometimes pay too much attention to that at the cost of how we feel. Women have agency only if we claim it. The world doesn’t give it to us even now.
In my experience as an older woman, the only time it’s in your hands to have sex on first date is if you truly do not care if you see the guy again. If you like the guy a lot, that’s not a very common situation. Thanks Marni.
I love this even more that Downton Abbey. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE you!
LOL he feels very strongly about this topic!
I have been watching this on repeat just for the entertainment factor. I don’t think I’ve seen Christian this riled up since that “Christian Vents” webisode!
Hey Juliana! If you’re looking for a hard and fast rule, I usually say between 2 and 3 months, or once you’ve had the exclusivity talk. Big hugs! Marni
I just love the deep discussions and dynamics between y’all ! Where can I find friends like you in the real world!
I agree Marnie! Sex on the first date makes you all wonky! But there is no hard and fast rule about when it is “safe” to ” slap skin” !! Is there??
That’s right, sistah! Keep watching! Big hugs, Marni
LOVE IT! Just say NO!!! Amen, Nancy Reagan!!