If you’re really into the new guy you just met, you might have some questions about how to show him you like him without being needy, clingy or freaking him out in a way that causes him to head for the hills. How much do you reveal and when?
First you’ll need to decide if you’re in one of two categories of people. Some of you Dignity Daters out there are naturally born with skills in the art of flirting.
And then there are those of us who are not… And for YOU, dear reader, we here at Dating with Dignity have come up with an airtight guide with tips on how to show a guy you like him in a way that is not only dignified but incredibly sexy!
This guy could be the man you’re out with right now while you’re reading this post (Stop it. Put your phone away!), the waiter who’s serving you during Girls Night Out, your oldest guy friend, or a stranger at Starbucks. Use these tips, and we think he’ll get the picture!
1. Find something small or insignificant that bothers both of you: maybe the giant deer head on the wall that you both laughed about. Poking fun at the same things helps you get closer, and it also puts you on the same team! Of course, you don’t want to turn into “Debbie Downer” and engage him in a negative rant. Rather, this is where your sense of humor blends with making a connection and as a result can create a sense of fun-loving and flirtatious camaraderie.
2. Compliment his new shirt. If you think guys don’t like or crave compliments, you are mistaken. Ask him where he got it. If he says he sometimes needs another opinion, offer to be that opinion-giver.
3. Make the most of body language. Make genuine, consistent eye contact. Let him know you’re paying attention to what he’s saying. Smile often when you’re with him (And not at the guy behind him!). Smile at HIM.
4. Don’t interrupt him with YOUR story that betters his. If he’s sharing that he went hiking in Joshua Tree, don’t share about how you did that too, but what was really awesome was your trip to Yosemite. Truly listen and reflect back what you hear him saying. In this case you could respond with, “It sounds like Joshua Tree was truly beautiful. What is it that you’ll never forget about that trip?”
5. Don’t wait an hour to text him back. Don’t wait two days to text him back. The good men don’t want to play games and will be completely turned off if you follow “the rules.” If you think you’re playing hard to get and he will totally know that you like him and are doing just that by ignoring him, chances are what he REALLY may be thinking is this:
a) You don’t know how to check your phone (can be frustrating)
b) You’re waiting too long to text him back because you’re a game player (can be more frustrating and a turn off to the GOOD guys)
c) You aren’t interested in seeing him (can be the most frustrating)
d) You don’t have your phone with you because you’re at the gym, in a meeting, driving and can’t text back, or some other appropriate excuse. (Which will work for a few hours but not for one day or more.)
You can include these legitimate reasons in your text back to him so that he doesn’t think you were just purposely waiting to write him back. If you don’t know what to say, something is better than nothing. I can’t tell you how many clients make game changing mistakes that result from ignoring someone they like — intentionally or by accident.
It’s easy to let a guy know you like him. Just use the guide above and be yourself. Remember, the good guys want to know that they make you happy and that you’re interested. It really can be that simple!
[Image credit: Angelo González]