Everyone in the entire universe (with perhaps the exception of Mother Theresa and her other nun sisters) has been through a breakup. And no matter whether it’s the first time or the hundredth, you probably feel like you’ll never get over your ex boyfriend. It sucks. It hurts. And sometimes, it hurts A LOT.
But as much as it might feel like you’ve reached the bottom and it can’t get any worse than how you feel right now, the good news is this: there is an opportunity to explore being the happiest when you’re at your lowest, because it can literally only go up from there.
So when you’re feeling low about breaking up with your ex boyfriend and need some help on how to get over your ex (without eating your body weight in mint chocolate chip ice cream), Dating with Dignity has some expert tips for you.
1. Keep your life full and busy
It’s easy to want to sit on your couch, vent to your friends, and just stay at home all the time listening to your “best of Taylor Swift playlist” again and again. This is pretty much the worst thing you can do.
Getting outside your house and sticking with those things that get your endorphins going are amazing ways to move on from your past relationship. It might be a bit slow to start, but picking up things that make you happy is going to help significantly!
Perhaps you have some good friends who you may have been neglecting since you’ve been in a relationship and it would be a great time to catch up with them over dinner or a hike. Life is too short to spend time in the dark–literally and figuratively.
2. Go on dates
While we know you won’t want to jump back into dating right away, it’s okay and appropriate to say yes to the bartender from your friend’s birthday party or a guy you met at your local coffee shop. While these guys might not be your next “one,” putting yourself out there and bringing back your feminine, desirable self with someone who doesn’t see you as somebody else’s ex is amazing for the ego.
Yes, you may compare him to your ex or miss your ex during or after the date, but putting yourself back into the dating pool can be good for you! You don’t have to find your next significant other in two weeks, but getting to know new people is a great way to remember how awesome you are.
If you feel ready for it, you can even try online dating; just find a site that’s a good match for what you’re looking for. Getting out there and being available to meeting someone new is not only good for the ol’ ego, but it’s also good for your spirits. It might take awhile for you to feel ready, but don’t wait too long. You’re too special to not get out there.
3. Focus on you.
Being in a relationship is fantastic; but sometimes if it’s not the healthy kind, you can lose yourself a little. Take this opportunity to make yourself a priority. Take a solo trip, get a new haircut, try that vegetarian diet your ex-boyfriend wouldn’t try with you. Maybe now you can take the 7 a.m. Saturday morning beach boot camp class you’d had your mind set on for months but couldn’t go to because your ex said it woke him up if you went that early. Cherish yourself, be kind to you, and love yourself by taking actions that are LOVING to you.
As Heidi Klum recently said about starting over after her breakup, “I’ve learned that you wake up in the morning, hopefully the sun is still shining, and you just keep on going.” So just keep on going. You’ve got it, and time does heal all wounds.
[Image credit: Feliciano Guimarães]