Ever wonder what men want in a woman? As Marni says, “Time and time again, the men I interview and work with tell me the number one thing they’re attracted to (outside of physical attraction, which varies widely from man to man) is… drumroll please…CONFIDENCE!”
It’s true. Men are absolutely drawn to women with confidence. The phrase “Be Yourself ” is one we’ve heard since kindergarten. With the curveballs life throws us, sometimes it can be hard to stay true to yourself. And when it comes to dating, it’s a WHOLE other thing.
So how can you show up as the authentic YOU in your dating life?
1. Come into a date open, available, charming, enjoyable and ready to have a great experience. This doesn’t mean you should show up to a date in your pajamas and expect a guy to be head over heels with you because “someday he’ll have to accept you in your sweats!” This just means “be you.” It also means don’t go into the date unconsciously trying to turn yourself into a pretzel trying to be the woman you think he wants. Be in your feminine power! View the experience as having worth, regardless of whether or not it turns into a 2nd date.
2. Be able to really connect with someone. As humans, we all want to connect with each other; but a lot of us don’t, because we have walls up. Take your walls down (just a little bit if the idea of this totally freaks you out completely) by using phrases like, “I feel” and “I understand” rather than telling him what you think. Listen without an agenda. Stop trying to one-up him with a better story or solve his problem.
3. Have a pre-game warm-up to a date. Take time to relax and get into your feminine zone. Practice yogic breathing, light a candle when you take a shower. Put on some relaxing zen music while you are putting your makeup on. Make sure to leave your fears at home.
4. Don’t always try to be more “sell-able.” If you’re always bringing your “A” game, and that “A” game is not really you, this will likely backfire. (After all, you can only pretend you love fly fishing for so long). Yes, it’s possible that if you bring your true self into the date, it might not be a match. But wouldn’t you rather find out sooner than later?
5. Have fun and enjoy the process! Instead of thinking about what you want to know about him, what your friends will think, or what you want him to know about you, drop the thoughts of “is-he-the-one-and-will-we-have-a-second-date” and just have a great time.
6. Set an intention for yourself. Make your intention one that is about you. Strive to show up in the most authentic way possible, be willing to share the truth of who you are, have fun, be open, and willing to share your life with someone else.
7. Remember, a date is not destination focused. Have an intention. Set the tone. Be relaxed. If you show up as you, and the guy happens to have brought his authentic self along as well, that is where the magic will happen!