As part of this special series for men’s health week, enjoy insight from James Wilson, Dating with Dignity’s Man Expert and Associate Coach, as he answers a question most asked by women:
Why Do Men Fear Commitment?
There are many reasons for a man to fear commitment, but guess what? There’s good news; none of them have to do with you!
Take a moment and let that sink in.
His inability to commit is not a rejection of you! Understanding this is a big deal. How often do you find yourself making his “commitment issue” a rejection of you and/or your relationship? Once you learn how a man thinks, you can actually use his responses to the “commitment issue” to help gauge whether or not he’s truly your match.
Why is a man afraid to commit? The main reason tends to be that he fears losing what is one of his most important values: FREEDOM.
Freedom is important to men. Really important. In fact, freedom means the world to a man. And as soon as he becomes wary of losing his freedom, he can disappear or transform in an instant.
What’s also important to remember is this: it doesn’t matter how awesome you truly are because when it comes to valuing “freedom,” it isn’t akin to comparing apples to oranges. Both are important to him.
The difference is in how he manages his fear.
In truth, a man’s relationship with his freedom is, in fact, yet another opportunity for you to “data-date,” and gauge how mature a man is in his masculinity. If he’s grounded and secure, he’ll have less of a fear of commitment because he’ll know that being committed and being free are not mutually exclusive states.
Being free of a fear of commitment in itself is a deeper freedom. A certain amount of fear of commitment is absolutely natural. A fantastic way to gauge a man’s fear of commitment is to explore his levels of commitment to himself,
other men, and his family. These levels of commitment will give a good indicator of how much commitment you can expect from him.
Once you become aware of these distinctions, you can use this information to decide which MANimal you may be dating and then make smart decisions about whom to keep and whom to let go.
James Wilson, CPC
- Male Expert Coach at DWD
James Earl Wilson, CPC, is an internationally renowned, award-winning performer and relationship coach. James functions as Male Expert Coach for Dating With Dignity, where he consults successful women and men on their path to find the love they desire and deserve. E-mail James here with questions and comments!