Whether Single, Married or Divorced, the Power is Yours to Choose Happiness this Holiday Season
By Cheri Valentine
As we move through the holidays and into the New Year, some of you may have a tingle of excitement as you anticipate the hustle and bustle of New Year’s Eve, looking forward to seeing family and friends to celebrate. For many however, this can be a very challenging time. Anxiety, dread, and worry are more the norm for so many during the holiday season.
On Christmas, the overinflated emphasis on gifts becomes a chore and takes away from the pleasure of the connection, love, and appreciation for many people. For some, there are so many things to do in addition to the already overloaded responsibilities. And for many more, the stress of facing another holiday alone feels unbearable.
Doesn’t sound too Happy or Merry, does it? Yet I know from experience having been on both ends of the spectrum that you can create holiday bliss while honoring what you want and need during this time. You don’t have to straddle the tight rope between sacrifice, obligation, and strain and total seclusion or intense loneliness.
I have one client who has spent almost every year of her life at family gatherings that left her lifeless because she absolutely did not want to attend. She felt so out of place and hated being the only single adult with no husband or children. Yet she went year after year, even traveling to be there and usually feeling sick. Through our work together, she realized that it was a choice she was making because it meant so much to her mother. It was a gift of love from her heart. She still goes, and now rather than focusing on all the reasons she does not want to be there, she is grateful that her mother is happy that she is there, and she makes more of an effort to connect with her family.
I have a friend who compared having to choose spending the holidays between her mother or with her mother-in-law preferable to choosing between having a knife in the eye or an ax to her head. Her solution is to schedule art shows and fairs during the holidays. She uses the excuse of working which is acceptable. Her husband accompanies her, and they celebrate together in a way that makes sense for them.
Another young woman is devastated at the thought of having to deposit her two children with their dad at noon for the second year. Last year she just went home and sat in her dark house after leaving them. This year she is visiting a shelter and bringing gifts to the families there after leaving her children with their dad. She is very excited that she will be using this time in a more positive and energizing way.
Each of these people was faced with options that were so unappealing and it seemed like they had no choice in the situations.
The first step was to understand that they DID have a choice.
This holiday season, when you may not necessarily like the situation or the options available, and feel like you don’t have a choice, remember that you do. The place to begin is with you. You can choose how you react and how you think about the options. Your attitude is a choice you always have. This alone offers you such freedom to step away and view the situation with objectivity and love. You can choose to be in the energy of love and connection regardless of what you do.
What can you choose to do this holiday and New Years that will add joy to your heart, even if it is not what you really want to do? How can you offer the gift of love to someone else? Wherever you are, whatever you do, the best gift you can offer to others is the gift of yourself. Show up, be present, and acknowledge to yourself that I am here because I am choosing to be, and I am also choosing to be here fully and in the spirit of love, and renewal.
Create a ritual for yourself that celebrates all the blessings in your life. Offer gratitude for all the gifts you receive every day and begin with the gift of breath and life. Do one thing for you that will nurture and fill your soul. Do one thing for someone else out of the spirit of love.
Remember what you give out, comes back to you tenfold. When you are actively in the energy of love and giving, you cannot help but be in the energy of love and receiving.
May you be blessed with spirit of love this holiday season, and may you have a safe and happy New Year.
Cheri Valentine has devoted her life to perfecting the art and science of creating and cultivating relationships that are passionate and thriving. She is a trusted mentor to men and women who have come close to giving up on love, and with her guidance found the confidence and energy to attract and enjoy long lasting love and fulfilling relationships through conscious creation just as she has done. For your free 6 Step Blueprint to Manifest Your Perfect Mate, visit www.CheriValentine.com.