We’ve invited a panel of stellar dating and relationship experts to share their insights on how to maximize your date-ability and relationship-readiness during the challenging holiday season. Please visit our blog from December 15- January 1, as each day we’ll have a new expert weigh in.
By David Wygant
It’s the season that the invitations for get-togethers are flowing and the holiday office parties are right around the corner. When it comes to times of year when singles obsess about their “date-ability” factor, the end-of-the-year holidays rank right up there with Valentine’s Day.
With this weighing on you, now is a great time to do your year-end inventory. Take this opportunity to take into consideration how your year, your friends and your life really turned out in the past 12 months. Let all that holiday cheer slap a smile on your face. By the time New Year’s Day rolls around, you’ll be ready to start anew.
That’s really the mentality of many people: January 1 comes, clean slate, we get to start all over again, we have all these ridiculous New Year’s resolutions, and then we get to break them throughout the course of the year to get to the end of December again.
But here’s a truth that most people are not saying: You’re also bringing all of your old habits, you’re bringing all of your past experiences with you into the next year. You can’t escape you, no matter what you do. There’s no escape. And there shouldn’t be.
So what should you be doing this December while you’re really cleaning house for the holidays and doing your year-end inventory? You need to ask yourself: Do you really possess all the skills that you desire to go out there and meet all the men you want to meet next year? Do you even know how to put yourself out there and attract and flirt with men?
Are you a woman who’s waiting for men to approach you over and over again, and hope that you find the right location to meet men next year so they can approach you? If so, I call you the passive waiter. No matter where you are, you’re always hoping and waiting for something to happen. You’re always hoping that if you go out, some man will come over and want to meet you.
January 1 is not going to change that. The end of the year is coming, and it’s time that you are more honest with yourself. What do you need to learn in order to attract men? What type of mind set changes do you need to have? And are you still the kind of woman who is waiting, hoping, and praying you meet the right guy?
Take a look at the number of dates you’ve gone on this year and ask yourself, are you happy with that number? Now I want you to go even deeper with yourself and ask yourself this question: how do you increase that number? I can tell you one thing from my years of experience coaching women all over the country: it’s going to take work, it’s going to take an effort, and it’s going to take more than getting dressed and standing around. It’s going to take more than just depositing yourself at the right social scenes. It’s about learning how to flirt the right way with men to let them know you’re interested, learning how to be happy and comfortable with flirting and forgetting about that thing called “rejection.”
The holidays are happening whether you’re ready for them or not. By the time the new year rolls around, you’re going to want to be ready to hit the ground running. But don’t expect a seasonal miracle; you’re going to have to put in some real work between now and then to learn new things about yourself and the dating game.
David Wygant is an internationally-renowned dating and relationship coach, author and speaker. His advice has transformed the dating lives and relationships of hundreds of thousands of people from every corner of the globe. He offers his advice as a writer for Ask Men, Huffington Post and across television segments, newspapers and magazines, including MTV, The New York Times, MSNBC, Fox News, Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health and E! Entertainment Television — as well as on over 2,000 radio shows. To find out more about David and all of his dating and relationship-building products, visit him on his website at http://www.davidwygant.com.