By Bobbi Palmer
New Year’s Eve is approaching – that special night where you put on your little black dress, go out on the town, and celebrate – well, sort of. If the biggest party night of the year has your stomach tied in knots because you’re single, you might want to read on.
When I was single, New Year’s Eve put me in a funk. With no one to take to parties or make out with at midnight, I was reminded of what I still wanted in my life: a loving man.
I’m married now, and so grateful to have a magnificent man in my life. But as I talk to my single girlfriends and coach my clients, I feel for them; and I still feel my sadness and disappointment as if it was yesterday.
Here is some advice I wish I had gotten when I was single. Not only do I want to help you get more joy out or your New Year’s Eve, I want to help you avoid unnecessary drama.
1. DO Plan.
My best advice for single women any time of year is to create her best life possible. If you’re not yet doing that for yourself, start now. Don’t wait for invitations or others to entertain you. Connect with old friends, throw a dinner party, plan a girls’ weekend, go to a neighborhood restaurant, or even read a good book. Don’t stay in the background; get out there! You’ll enjoy your time, and since lots of other smart singles are doing the same… you never know who you’ll meet.
2. DON’T force it.
I know you want a date for parties and events. But don’t force it by having a first date at your coworker’s party or invite a man you’ve just started dating to your best friend’s New Year’s Eve bash. It may ease your tension about what you want for New Year’s Eve, but it may also ruin your chances going forward with someone you like. You shouldn’t fabricate or rush things at other times of the year, and there’s no exception here.
If you have a date, avoid misunderstandings by keeping it in perspective. When a man shares time with you for New Year’s Eve, that’s generally what he’s doing… sharing time with you. The meaning women tend to put on this is often not shared by men. If he agrees to go with you to your parties, or even takes you to his, it means he likes spending time with you. Enjoy it and be glad he likes your company. But don’t give it more importance than it deserves.
If you adjust your expectations and remember that this night is special but does not define how the rest of your year will be, nor does it reflect your romantic future, you’ll be able to let go, be present, and enjoy the friends who surround you that night. Relax, breathe, and be grateful for what you DO have – friends, family and people who like to spend time with you. This attitude of gratitude will carry you a long way. And who knows, maybe a cute guy at the bar will be attracted to happy, radiant you and offer to buy you a drink!
Bobbi Palmer is The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40 and founder of Date Like a Grownup. She is not just a dating coach; she’s a dating success story! Bobbi was married for the first time at age 47 and describes her spectacular husband as “the yummy icing on her already good cake.” Her 6-step Find Hope and Find Him System has helped countless smart, independent women over 40 learn to love and trust themselves and understand men…so they can enjoy dating and find lasting love. Bobbi invites you to take her free eCourse The 7 Major Dating Mistakes Women over 40 Make in their Search for Love at www.DateLikeaGrownup.com/over40.