By Orna & Matthew Walters
The holidays can be a difficult time to be single and dating. There is a lot of pressure to find someone who can share all of those holiday events with, culminating with the ultimate pressure filled event, New Year’s Eve. It’s enough to drive you into the arms of the nearest available man. This is a strategy that results in high expectations and crushing disappointment.
We want to offer a different path this holiday season, one that could very well make sure you never spend another holiday lonely and alone. And to accomplish this, you need to change the direction of your focus – away from finding the right man, right now, and towards becoming the right woman, always.
The path to accomplish this feat requires that you stop looking for someone to complete you and start becoming the best woman you can be. This requires you to take some loving actions with yourself.
The first step is to release yourself from finding him now. Relax, enjoy the holidays with friends and family, and ignore all those questions about why you are still single. The winter is the perfect time to reflect and introspect. Take this time to look inward and develop a positive self-love practice.
Here are a few suggestions:
1. Release the hurts and heartbreaks from the past
Forgive yourself, forgive the other people who have betrayed, abandoned, and disappointed you. Discover what the lesson was for you to learn, be grateful to have that knowledge and experience and move on! Learn from the past, forgive and move on. Finding lasting love is about what your heart truly desires.
2. Treat yourself how you wish to be treated.
There is no wiggle room here. If what you desire is respectful love, then you must be giving that love to yourself. Embrace all the parts of you – the good, the bad, and even the ugly. You must be willing to give yourself the same love and acceptance that you are looking for in your mate.
3. Be committed to your own growth.
Whatever your spiritual path may be, commit to it fully. This is your path to wholeness. Only by becoming whole yourself will you attract another whole person. In relationship, water seeks its own level – if you want to create a lasting relationship, do the work to move forward on your journey and you will surely meet your partner along the way.
4. Make a list of qualities that you want your partner to have.
Be very specific. Focus on values, personality traits and internal qualities, not on physical traits or external qualities. If it is important that your soul mate be successful, then focus on the qualities that made him that way, not the amount of money he makes. Then go through the list and ask yourself: – “Do I hold/have this quality? If not, how can you cultivate it?
5. Do not settle!
It is possible for you to have everything you want in relationship. Keep your eye on the prize! When you waste time with someone who is not what you truly desire, then you are telling the universe that you’re willing to settle for less. Stop wasting time with good enough, and go for what is in your heart’s desire!
Orna and Matthew Walters are Relationship Coaches for singles who want love, and the founders of the Love On Purpose Revolution dedicated to busting the myth that love is supposed to happen by accident. Orna and Matthew have been featured in hundreds of interviews including on Fox News, NBC, MSN, USA Networks, CBS Radio and KPFK radio. For more on Orna and Matthew visit: http://www.CreatingLoveOnPurpose.com