By Patty Contenta
Through my research and personal experience, I’ve found 3 mistakes are responsible for women not being approached by men. The scary part is that this could be happening to You without you knowing it.
Mistake #1: Standing With Your Legs Apart
A man likes to feel masculine, like he has mental and physical strength…regardless of his size. The dominance that he tries to portray can be seen by the way he stands with his legs apart and chest lifted. His goal is to take up space to demonstrate power.
So when a woman stands with her legs apart, she’s taking a dominant role. She’s taking the lead and a very masculine man will avoid you because you’re confronting his stature without saying a word.
I too have been in this same scenario where my need to be noticed for the smart, strong woman I am was coming out loud and clear for every man to see… yet no one approached me.
A man is naturally attracted to a playful woman that oozes sensuality… something he is clueless about. He wants to sense an air of invitation so that if he takes a chance to approach you, you won’t reject him on the spot.
Mistake #2: Arms and Elbows Out
Many women make the mistake of speaking with their hands or standing with their elbows out. Now this may seem trivial but remember a man wants to feel welcome if he decides to approach you. And when your arms are flailing…a man WILL keep his distance.
Being of Italian decent, speaking with my hands is a natural habit. In fact, it’s difficult for me to express myself without using my hands, so I made a conscious decision to slow down my speech so that my arms don’t take over. When my energy is high, my arms become active, when my energy is calm, my arms are relaxed.
Let me make this even clearer for you. One day I was dancing a rumba in front of my coach. I was giving it my all, when he suddenly stopped the music and asked me, “Patty, do you love yourself?” That statement caught me off guard. I responded with, “Well, yes…but why do you ask?” At this point he moved in closer to me and in a gentle voice said, “A woman that loves herself touches her body, caresses her skin. Her arms should NOT be flailing around to draw attention to herself. The less you do, the more attractive it is.” From that moment on my dancing style changed.
I got it! I understood how to create a sensual look on the dance floor and then apply it off the dance floor. It was magical!
Mistake #3: Leaning Forward
Many women make the mistake of making the first move, leaning in to get his attention. Picture a woman having a conversation with a man, her body leaning forward so all he sees is her forehead coming at him. It’s not a pretty sight…it’s actually intimidating. It can literally feel like an interrogation instead of a dialogue.
Wouldn’t it be nice to have a man move towards you and have him wanting to tell you things that are on his mind without you trying to pull it out of him?
It’s possible only if you lean back and relax into your chair. You see, when you keep your energy open by physically leaning back, he feels safe to speak. He relaxes into his own body, releases his tension and then can have a conversation from a calmer state. When anyone is feeling at ease, energy flows and our thoughts are more pure.
Wouldn’t it be nice to captivate a man with your wits, charm and feminine energy and never worry about feeling stuck with the one man that comes your way for fear that no one else will approach you?
Being aware of the signals your body language is sending is a key factor to being approachable. You can’t not communicate…so why not transmit words like “invitation, open, and feminine”. These words are much more attractive to men than focus, drive and fearless.
The information in my Sexy In Seconds Program will save you years of time and missed opportunities to meet men anywhere. Wouldn’t you like to be in a position where you choose the man that’s right for you, instead the only one that’s available?
Patty Contenta is founder and author of Sensuality Secrets, a book and DVD set that helps divorced women over 40 who are struggling with their body image feel sexy, feminine, confident and attract quality male attention with simple and subtle alterations in their body language. Patty has become a sought after speaker and radio guest in North America. You can see images and details of her online business at www.sensualitysecrets.com. Patty Contenta has also worked as a professional dancer, choreographer, judge, international traveling dance consultant and owner of the World-renowned Arthur Murray Dance Franchise. She has transmitted her passion for dance to students around the world. Through her online business, Patty has helped women release their resistance to expressing their sensuality by providing techniques that lead them to be more playful while creating an inviting environment that will make them more magnetic.