By Debi Berndt
When you are single around the holidays, you can be tempted to focus on what you don’t have in the absence of your true love. Whether you have been alone for a while or are recently going through a breakup, it may be hard for you to have any sense of gratitude. You know you should try to be happy in the moment, but it is just so darn difficult to have any holiday cheer.
This spiritual idea of being at peace without wanting anything more was always a struggle for me. I used to wonder if that meant I have to settle for being unattached and stop complaining. I thought I had to give up my desires and attachment to external things to be truly enlightened. No matter how much I meditated and tried to let go, I still wanted my dating life to change. I found it hard to imagine being satisfied until “the one” arrived.
Whether you are out in the dating world or in a relationship desiring it to go to the next level, you should not feel guilty for wanting more as long as you remember to be peaceful in the now. The natural law of life is to grow and expand so the good news is there is more to come. You are constantly in motion, growing toward something. You are not a static force. You have always been perfect, but never finished with the masterpiece of your life.
Imagine the fertilized cell in the womb during the time of conception, everything is perfect but incomplete. During development, the embryo passes through critical stages that must occur in order to create a baby. Within each phase there is perfection, but you are still in the process of growing. You were born and you were beautiful in that moment. As you stumbled to walk, each fall effectively led you to the next step you took. You eventually learned to balance and become stronger until you finally stood up on your own. Each moment of your life was perfect as you continued to grow into adulthood.
To desire to love and be connected to others is also a very natural drive and normal for every person. Each heartache and setback as well as every moment of inspiration that lifted you up was perfect. You have the choice to grow in the direction of faith or in despair, but you never stand still. You are continuously riding the wave of existence to having that romantic connection that makes you human.
Right now, you are perfect but never complete in your progression toward a greater life. There is no finish line in personal development, but that doesn’t mean you are broken either. You are here now, consciously aware of yourself in this amazing world with unlimited possibilities of love, money, health and more. As you spend the holiday sitting at the singles table wondering why your romantic partner is not in your life yet, just remember that your love story is still unfinished. If you hold the mindset of gratitude now, that feeling will to carry you toward new love experiences that are waiting for you in the next moment.
Debi Berndt, Sexy True Love™ Expert & Author of Let Love In: Open Your Heart and Mind to Attract Your Ideal Partner (Wiley 2010). She has been featured by ABC News, ABC Radio Network, FOX News, NBC News, Cosmopolitan, and Playboy Radio. SexyTrueLove.com