There is some simplicity in letting go. I’ve felt, for so long, that separating from Derek would be so complicated, so unimaginably difficult- but now and again I see the simplicity.
The mourning process has begun and I find myself equal parts sad and disappointed as Moving Day draws closer. It could be easier to let go- I wish it were. As I continue to learn to stand strong in Me and live from all that I Am, I know that the sun will break through this emotional fog before long. But for today I mourn all that I hoped Derek and I could have been – our potential. And I mourn that somehow in our trying so hard to make this work there wasn’t more spark, more depth to discover.
Then I breathe. And in the space between sadness and breath something happens, something seems to tell me that not only will I be alright, I will blossom into more of me. That’s the simplicity. I’m back to me. Just me – at least sometimes. I check in with my I Am mandala almost as away to balance myself in the dizzying process of separation and what I Am is simple: I Am compassion, strong mom, I Am Big Love, joy, abundance… I Am so much and it’s all right here within me already. It simply is and I simply am. And while there are plenty of intricate details to work out in this new way of family life for us, for now I will focus on the simplicity of me… And breathe.