NEWS FLASH: We men love you women. We do. Honestly. Even though we may not seem like it at times, we are completely floored by every single one of you. We will do whatever is necessary to get your attention, get a date, and spend a cozy evening snuggling up next to you.
Now, what our intentions are is another story entirely. We might truly want to take you out over and over again and hopefully move into a courting process and wed you one day.
OR, we might just love the sight of your frame and will shower you with adoration and accolades all night just so we can get you in bed. The funny thing is that we might use the SAME TACTICS for both very different goals.
For in each case–whether it is for the sex, the attention, or the courting–the main target is you. And any man who has learned anything from grade school on knows that you must be focused on the woman and give her all your attention in order to keep hers.
So now the question is: how do you figure out if the MANimal sitting across from you at the Color Me Mine pottery painting date is a Hunter, the Cry Baby, a Quality Casual, a Vanisher, or Mr. Elusive?
Well, the difference may by slight at first, but once he starts dropping the signs you will know if Mr. Charming is thinking more about how he can get you to the backseat of his Cadillac as opposed to an eventual altar.
The biggest indication of a man’s intentions is the language he uses. If you start getting a little sexy talk going on during the first few dates, there is a good chance he is testing the waters for some sexy time later on.
Another sign to look for is the kind of physical contact he makes with you. There’s a difference between appropriate physical contact between two people who are newly dating, and the type of physical contact that indicates your date is looking for something a little more casual.
Let’s take the Color Me Mine date to break down the difference. (For those of you who have never been to Color Me Mine, it is a DIY pottery painting studio. It’s an awesome date place as it encourages interaction, creativity and fun). The scenario: you and Mr. Charming are having a jovial time joking back and forth about the quirky pottery pieces you are making. He looks at yours and says, “Stay right there, I have the right touch.” He comes up behind you, straddles you from behind a la’ Swayze in Ghosts, and says “Here, let me guide your paintbrush.” Sounds kind of hot and fun, but it might be an indication of what he is looking for; a hot and fun time.
Any man who is looking to test the waters of a substantial relationship probably won’t pull the Ghost trick out of the ole book on the first few dates. We men tend to slow it down when we get into relationship mode. It is a bit of the Madonna/Whore complex. When we are ready for a serious girl, our meters tend to dial over to the Madonna side, which means we can tame our desires. We like to think of our girlfriends as untouched, so why would we desecrate that image from the beginning? However, if we are looking to have fun, Madonna goes out the window and the game is on to do whatever we can to get you to open up and, well, you get the picture.
The good news is that you are in control and able to steer the ship. If you learn he is looking for nothing more than a good time and decent sex, you get to decide if you want to stick around or find a man who is ready for something more substantial.
There are many signs you can look for to tell if the the man you’re dating falls into one of our MAMimal species, or if he is indeed Boyfriend Material. Nearly everything he does can be used as a clue; including his language, mannerisms, how he schedules your dates, what clothes he wears, where he takes you out, how he ends the date, etc.
There are so many signs that Marni and I are actually teaching a teleclass this Sunday, January 30th at 5:30 PM PST on the matter. So register here, call in and join us and gain the knowledge of the MANimals. It will save you a tremendous amount of dating time, and a little heartbreak! We would love to have you, break it all down for you, and of course, answer your questions! Sign up here and I look forward to hearing your voice!