Whether you realize it or not, the words you use hold energy. Yep, the kind of energy that can broadcast “I’m a positive, awesome woman and you want to date me,” versus, “I am grateful you are dating me – and once you know me you will most likely leave.”
As a result of the power both words and language hold, not only must you begin to become aware of the words you choose, you must also begin to look at THE INTENTION behind what you say because it is this intention that gives meaning and context to your words., AND most importantly, shouts to the Universe a bold message.
For example, when you tell a friend, “It’s HIS loss,” when describing your feelings regarding the man you are interested in who didn’t call back, you are, in fact, telling the Universe that you desire to be “lost” to him. While you may not believe that the Universe responds to this type of messaging, it does. It is these small shifts that create HUGE transformation and dating success that leads to partnerships, love and intimacy.
To ensure that your communication helps you achieve your dating goals, make sure you take the following three steps:
1. Make sure all your language is positive.
For example, read these statements aloud and notice the energy behind each one. How do you feel, in your body, when you state each of these messages?
I didn’t like that guy. vs.
I could have like him a lot more.
He made me sick to my stomach. vs.
I could have felt better when I was with him.
I don’t need a man in my life. vs.
I could enjoy a man in my life.
In both examples, the second choice simply feels better. It’s positive and reflects an attitude of non-judgment, confidence and peace – all characteristics to which quality men are attracted.
2. Speak in the NOW to leave your past behind.
Many of my clients mistakenly repeat stories of how they “are” in the world. For example, “I am not connected to my emotions,” “I am not good in relationship,“ or “I always have trouble setting boundaries.” When you continue using these words and repeat these statements often to yourself or even in conversation with friends and family, you are connecting to the truth of these statements as facts — statements you most often DO NOT want to be true in your life NOW.
To disconnect from the stories you tell, use the following THREE powerful words as a bridge between your past and future. Inserting the phrase, “Up Until Now” before you tell “your story” ultimately disconnects you from the patterns of your past, creating room for change, growth and new results in your life.
3. Speak as if you already have what you desire.
The truth is this: You can’t fool the universe and what you speak has to TRULY be your core thought and belief in order to yield positive results. If you don’t truly believe the new, positive alternative, it’s time to dig into what old junk is keeping you stuck in that unproductive, negative belief of the past. Asking yourself where you learned this belief, and how true it is NOW in your life, are beginning steps to move away from negative language.
Recently a client of mine was discussing a job opportunity. He was excited about the possibilities, and felt confident he would get offered the job soon. A few moments later he began to discuss travel plans. He began to speak. “If I get the job, I will be able to take…” He stopped mid-sentence as he had been working with me for nearly three months. “Let me re-phrase that,” he said, smiling. He started over. “When I get the job, I will be able to take a vacation I have always dreamed of taking.” After he restated his words in the positive, as if he already had what he desired, he went on and described, at length, why he truly believes he will get the job. I can’t wait to hear his good news soon.
Becoming highly aware of the language you use is a small AND powerful shift you can make to become a more successful, confident dater. And while there has always been power in positive thinking, positive expression of those thoughts will make a dramatic difference in how you are perceived and received in the world to start increasing your MANtraction Factor now!