Dating With Dignity

Today’s guest blog comes to us from Karen Kleinwort of Therapy in Transition, a Portland-based company offering a unique integration of mind, body and spirit to empower and enrich clients’ lives by supporting them to embrace change positively and permanently.

Fulfilling and loving relationships expand the beauty of life, but finding these can prove harrowing. Everyone experiences her share of heartbreak over the course of a lifetime, but finding that kind of fulfillment and love can make such heartbreak worth it when you come out the other side.

Many people believe fate holds the responsibility of their finding love, but the truth is we bear the responsibility for the people whom we attract into our lives via our thoughts and actions. If you’re familiar with the concept of Karma and the Law of Attraction, you know they apply to personal relationships as well. The best part? Even if you don’t find the current state of your present relationship satisfactory—or you’re still recovering from heartbreak—you can start with a clean state to attract love into your life.

Remember, dwelling on betrayal and emotional pain from the past doesn’t affect the person who hurt you; rather, it only hurts you and holds you back. Similarly, comparing new potential partners with those who haunt you only prevents you from properly exploring the possibility of new relationships.

When you find yourself dissatisfied with the state of a relationship, commit to examining why this is so. Do you turn the Golden Rule on its head and treat yourself as you want others to treat you? Do you focus too much on pleasing others? Are you happy with who you are and where you’re going? Asking yourself these questions will allow you to determine what elements of your life stop you from enjoying fulfilling relationships.

The experiences of past relationships can cloud your psyche, especially if the emotional involvement of said relationships left deep imprints. In these cases you’ll likely find moving on more difficult if you don’t have the help of experienced experts. Luckily, there are several therapies you can try to help you move beyond the emotional pain and begin attracting into your life the kind of love you desire and deserve.

For instance, hypnosis-based therapies often prove particularly useful if you carry within you deep-seated childhood trauma such as abuse or having bore the brunt of an abusive family relationship as you grew up. Similarly, psychotherapy and counseling can help you delve into and then address emotional trauma that may be holding you back.

One technique you can try—either with the assistance of a professional or on your own—is employing affirmations and visualization exercises. Remember, what we focus on most we also bring into reality. Many people use the principles of the Law of Attraction to attract love and happiness into their lives by focusing on positive thoughts and visualizing themselves in fulfilling and loving relationships. Cynics believe the Law of Attraction is simply too simple and obvious to be real and effective, but even they find it difficult to deny the logic behind the power of visualization. Focusing on positive thoughts reflects in our personalities, and as such those with whom we interact find us more attractive when we exude positive demeanors rather than moroseness and glum outlooks.

Finally, we make life what it is. Fate is not something destined to happen; rather, it’s the result of our actions, deeds and thoughts. Although we can’t do much about the actions and thoughts of our pasts, we are fully in control of and responsible for how we think and act in the present. And that is how we attract new and fulfilling relationships.

By Karen Kleinwort
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Karen Kleinwort is a certified professional coach who specializes in life, business and health coaching. Kleinwort also holds a BS in Business Management and an AA in Holistic Health & Fitness Promotion; additionally, she is a Reiki Master and CranioSacral Practitioner. Kleinwort is available for interviews and appearances. You can contact her at karen@therapyintransition.org or (877) 255-0761.