For many women, beginning to question the life you have created in which you have worked diligently to achieve financial independence and achieve professional success can be terrifying. And, just like leaving a long-term relationship to begin again, beginning to want something new involves re-creating a new reality from the ground up.
Often a terrifying place to be, this is a stage of change we call the “Toss In.” The “Toss In” is a phase in which you ultimately throw in your cards and question what it is you want from life, who you want to play with, your beliefs, values, hopes, dreams and desires. Moving past the “Toss In” phase you will go through the “Shuffle,” and “The Deal,” ultimately landing in a new life in which you “Play the Game” in a different way then you have ever experienced life. For many women, then, leaving the safety of the “Toss In” phase in which you feel empowered, safe and in control seem much to difficult to give up. This, perhaps, is because of a very deep seeded limiting belief; the belief that in order to be in partnership we must “give up” some part of ourselves.
In some ways, entering into the safety of independence (or staying there) feels refreshing and comfortable, until one day, it seems our longing for partnership and love becomes haunting. We mistakenly feel as if we must choose between having a “him” or having a “me” and that in order to have a partner we must somehow give up the life we have created. And, because many of us have worked so very hard to get this life — often feeling as if we had to “fight” for everything we have earned — it seems like an impossible trap.
We ask ourselves….
Independence vs. Partnership?
Power vs. Weakness?
Control vs. Compromise?
Yikes! Is this the truth of what we must give up in order to find partnership, lasting love and intimacy?
No! The truth is that the consequence of living your life in fear of losing your independence can ultimately be as damaging to your heart and soul as being too needy, codependent, desperate or working too hard. How then, do we find a balance? How do we move from thinking it is as simple as “this vs. that?” How do we begin to feel, deep in our heart, that there is a way to be in relationship in which we don’t lose anything.
If you are interested in doing the deep emotional work necessary to move through this phase of change, I invite you to join us for a group “Toss In” event — The Relationship Readiness Rejuvenation Retreat, July 9-11 in Malibu, California. Created for a select group of 15 women who are ready to let go of the safety of control and explore life in “the gap” in a supported, nurturing and safe environment, this powerful weekend will catapult you past “the gap” into a phase in which you are ready to play an entirely “new game.” A game in which you will ultimately find love, INTERdependence, joy, freedom, PEACE, and passion.
For those who are interested in learning more about the retreat, we invite you to join us for an information teleconference being held Thursday, June 10 and Friday, June 11. To register for this free, 30 minute call and receive details regarding which call time works best for you, click here now.
Don’t get stuck in the “Toss In.” Move past your desire to chuck it all,acknowledge and celebrate the “knowing” you feel deep in your core that there must be more to life. Join us to start again. Get in action towards creating a new life; a new reality. The question is really only how much pain are you willing to endure, and how long are you willing to wait?