We received a variety of amazing questions last week from the 40 women in attendence during the MAN Panel event in Los Angeles. And, as many of you are unable to attend because you live in lands near and far, I wanted to take time today to share some of the answers that were given during the live event.
Ok, now on to your questions and answers…
Can you convert or change a man into one of the higher evolved MANimals? If you decide to give it a try, are you merely being “co-dependent?”
Wow! This was a great questions as it is often pondered by women everywhere. How many times have you stuck with your guy, believing in his potential? How often have you remembered the days he showed up as the perfect prince, then spent day after day scheming how you can help him get “back” to that place? The answer to this questions was clear last Thursday night. Each of the eight MANellists agreed that the only time he evolved into a new MANimal was when he was perfectly ready. Each MANelist reiterated his own story of how he became “tired” of the lifestyle he had been living, and took actions internally to make shifts. It was never one women who “changed” him forever more into the man he knew he could be. One of the most important pieces of information the MANelists shared was this: If you are wanting to stick with your man to help him evolve, make sure he is WILLING to change, AND then look for serious action to back up his claim! Telling you he “loves you,” or that your connection is “special,” on those nights you are curled up next to him doesn’t warrant willingness. The MANelists warned women to pay close attention, and that in a highly evolved relationship both parties work equally for change, transformation and growth. Words and actions must match, and that is one truth agreed upon by each of the MANelists ages 21-56 who participated.
Is a cheater always a cheater?
NO! Again, this question received a resounding, unanimous answer! People change, according to each of the MANelists, as they grow, develop and learn.
If a woman goes to bed with a man on the first date is she risking the chance men will see her as “girlfriend material? How many times does she have to resist before you think of her as a potential girlfriend?
I love this questions and once again, despite the differences in age, relationship status, ethnicity and vocation, each of these amazing MANelists told the eager women in the audience to WAIT before consenting to sex with a man whom she is interested in seriously dating. In terms of pacing, the MANelists suggested that women take it exceedinly slow, and that men will respect a women who consistently has boundaries.
Most important, however, was this MANimal SECRET! The MANelists agreed, sharing that a man who is truly looking for a long-term relationship, is emotionally mature, and in an evolved MANimal, he will most likely also want to wait before embarking in a physical relationship until he is confident the relationship has legs on which to stand. The bottom line: You can recognize a possible “keeper” if he is not always trying to get into you pants, and as dating progresses is willing to discuss sex and how it impacts your relationship. As always, Christian Anderson, MANelist and Dating Den Cohost, reminded participants to decide (long before you even begin dating) what type of “contract” you want to have regarding what YOU expect if the relationship becomes physical. For example, does this mean your relationship is monogamous? Is it exclusive? Or, are you dating other people but not sleeping with anyone else? Whatever you choose, make sure your partner agrees to the terms of your contract before you decide to have intercourse. Of course, all conversations regarding when to have sex must take place vertical and with clothes on!