Casual Sex. It seems to be a right of passage for many women. We are proud that we can finally have guilt-free, no-strings-attached sex with friends, or near strangers. And, for the most part, there really is nothing wrong with it, as long as everything is safe and protected, and you’re being honest about truly wanting a casual, noncommittal setup.
So where do the problems arise? When you start wanting more.
Once you’ve been used to living in a world of hook ups and pseudo intimacy, it can be hard to make the transition into land o’ love with Mr. Boyfriend Material. And, we have to be honest, your chances of reforming anyone in your current booty call line up are slim to none.
This means that you have to start over fresh. At Dating With Dignity, we believe in order to get different results you have to do things differently. Your old ways aren’t going to cut it anymore and, as with any change in behavior or habit, it’s going to be hard and you can expect to be tempted back into your old ways from time to time.
Luckily, we’ve compiled some tips to make it easier for you to stay on track towards your very own happily ever after:
1. Change up your routine: If you usually go to bars or clubs to meet your short-term suitors, maybe take a cue from some of our past blogs and hit up a hiking trail or farmer’s market. Be open and approachable, and have a good time. There are no guarantees you’ll meet someone right away, but by removing yourself from the hookup culture and putting yourself out there in the daylight you are upping your odds tremendously.
2. Be clear on what you want: Present yourself in a way that is in alignment with your goals. One example: the men at Dating With Dignity often stress the importance of the clothes a woman wears, and often say that a woman who wants to be perceived as girlfriend material should dress in a way that is classy and sexy, without exposing too much skin.
3. Don’t forget your goals: From time to time, no matter how diligently you are walking down the path of Girlfriend Material, situations will be thrown your way in which you will have to make a decision. For instance, you may get a text from one of your old booty calls, asking you to come over. Or, the new guy, who you are REALLY attracted to, turns out to be interested in just a hookup, not a relationship. In both of those scenarios, you must make a choice. A good rule of thumb is to think of it in this way: “How will doing this tonight, get me to where I want to be in six months?” Then, based on your answer, make your decision.