It’s Q and A Monday, and today I am going to answer one of the most common questions I receive:

Where do I meet “Mr. Right ,” especially when I seem to keep meeting Mr. Right Now

To answer this accurately, I need to fill in some gaps.  First, and foremost, it is imperative that as you begin to date with dignity, you understand that ultimately, the answers to all questions lie within yourself.

Step One:

While it is important to collect data, get ideas, and glean new insights, one of the first steps to discovering the answer within is to engage in a dialogue with a coach or supportive, unbiased friend who can ask you important questions — you know —  questions that make you take pause.  Questions that can’t be answered with “yes,” “no,” or “I don’t know.”  The types of questions that empower YOU to uncover your TRUTH.

Step Two:

Take time in a moment of solitude to direct a specific question towards the still, quiet voice within.  Listen to the voice within, give consideration to the message you receive, and then, act accordingly.  Most often, mistakes are made when we ignore the still, small, voice.  In order to stretch and grow, you must do the “opposite,” of what you typically might do in a situation.  Called “The Constanza,” this is an important piece of the Dating With Dignity “10-Step Process to MANifesting Love of Self and Others,” in which a person is asked to STOP, THINK, and CHOOSE actions that are in alignment with his/her goals.

Step Three:  Getting Back to the Question

So then, where do you meet Mr. Right?  I am always intrigued when people ask me this question, because it is often prefaced with a  tw0-three minute monologue in which they foist a huge pile of Limiting Beliefs, Assumptions, Interpretations and Inner Critic messages at my feet.  They believe, in fact, that their situation is unique. The truth is this:

You can meet Mr. Right anywhere!

If your eyes are open wide, and you are certain that your fears of intimacy, abandonment, losing your independence, or perhaps a fear of being tragically hurt again are NOT blinding you, I can assure you  it is only a matter of time until you see him standing there before you.  My dad met his new wife on JDate.  It was his 2nd date in 45 years. His first was with my mother, who died in 2009. It as a fix-up.  My cousin, Jen, met her husband on Match.com.  They now have five children, two from previous marriages and one daughter together.  I met The Brit through an organization in which I am involved.  A successful relationship coach I collaborate with met her husband in a bar.

Spring is here.  It is a time of renewal.  When you decide where to look for love, begin now to look inside yourself.  Listen to the small voice inside.  Ensure that you are truly ready.  And then enjoy the journey…life, my friends, is at hand.