Dating With Dignity

I’ve been working as the Dating With Dignity Marketing Assistant for  five months, and it’s going well. While working in the dating and Life Coaching business is  something I have never done before, I like it. And, if I happened to be someone in the market for some dating advice, this is the place to be.

I transcribe the advice Marni doles out to clients, and can’t help but overhear phone conversations she has with friends who aren’t clients when they come calling for a dose of her wisdom. Day in and day out I listen to women beg Marni for the answer. They are willing to partake in whatever coaching regime she prescribes, and listen eagerly at each and every event we host, careful not to miss one drop of her guidance. Their very own dating messiah, the savior has come, and they have complete faith that she will lead them out of the dismal abyss that has become their love lives.

But that’s just them. What about me, you ask? Well, thank you, but I’ll have to pass. I’ll just be over here, not believing anything you say.

And that’s the truth. I have remained quite skeptical of this entire operation. A girl can only hear the words abundance, and intention, and manifest so many times, before beginning to truly question exactly how much of this is based in reality.

I’ll never forget the first time my mind was really blown by Dating With Dignity. I had only recently started working here, and we were setting up for an event. As we prepared the room for the evening I told Marni I thought her relationship with her boyfriend was really great, and that she was lucky.

She responded with, “Thanks, but I’m not lucky. I manifested him.”

I tenderly set down the chair I was holding, and tried to avoid eye contact, certain I was in the presence of a lunatic. I kept quiet, but held strong. There would be no transformation on my end, and I would not subscribe to any of this, stuff. Thanks, but I’ll pass.

I’m not entirely sure when my attitude shifted, but I guess that’s how all change happens. It’s kind of like how you can learn to cook just by being in the kitchen while your mother is cooking, without ever picking up a knife or a spice. You don’t even think you’re paying attention, but some part of you is absorbing, acknowledging, until the moment when it all clicks into place, and you find yourself signing up for your boss’s 8-Week Breaking Free From Your Romantic Rut tele-course.

The truth is this had been brewing within me for a while. I’d realized over the past few weeks that maybe I could use a little guidance. Not having a boyfriend has freed up a decent amount of mental energy, and I’ve noticed that a lot of my choices have been based out of fear—something I wouldn’t even have been aware of had I not been working with Marni.

When I first realized this little pattern, I chose to push it aside. I had enough going on without adding an inherent flaw to the mix. So, I decided I’d do what I always do: pretend it’s not happening. Denial has always been my go-to coping mechanism of choice, and until recently, it had always served me well.

Or, the more realistic explanation is that I was blithely unaware of how much I was denying of myself, and how afraid I truly am. There’s no need to get into the intricacies of where the fear stems from and why it’s there in this blog, but it’s enough of a hindrance for me to stop denying, and start dealing.

So, I’ll let you know if this self-proclaimed skeptic finds her way through the Dating With Dignity coursework. In the meantime, I’ll be blogging weekly about the class, and my progress. I’d also like to say that I feel ridiculous doing any of this, as I know what lies ahead for me in the Dating With Dignity workbook. A whole lot of questions waiting to be answered, decisions waiting to be made, and realities ready to be faced.

And maybe, that’s exactly what I’ve been missing.