Dating With Dignity

It was announced today that Jerry Springer is going to be hosting his own dating show        called Baggage.  On the show, the contestants compete for a chance to win a dream date.  Sounds  harmless enough, right?

Well, here’s the catch: The suitors have to reveal all of their faults and eccentricities to their  potential date, represented by a huge suitcase each player is required to bring onstage.  Among the  first contestants: a shoplifter, a woman addicted to psychics, and a control freak.  ugh.

While the contestants chosen will be examples of extreme types of “baggage”, the show’s central  theme is one that we tackle when coaching someone to Date With Dignity.  For many, someone  else’s “baggage” is considered somewhat of a deal-breaker.  Of course, everyone has some, so the  main question becomes this: Exactly how much crap are you lugging around in that suitcase of yours?  Is it a fanny-pack, with a few broken childhood dreams inside, or an entire set with an accompanying bellhop to help you lug it around?

No matter where you fall on the baggage scale, we’ve compiled some tips to help you lighten the load:

1.  Figure out what you’re up against.  Identify exactly what the baggage looks like. Name your challenges, and identify where it stems from.  It may be scary, but write it down and look at it clearly. Make it  tangible.  Consider what happened, why it hurt you, and how long this has this been an issue.

2.  Acknowledge the strength you’ve exhibited by carrying around the baggage for so long.  Whatever happened to you was painful, and you now know you are strong enough to handle whatever comes your way, even if it means letting go of things that you believe have kept you safe.

3.  Do not blame anyone, and fight the urge to fall into victim thinking.  Accept how you have been culpable, acknowledging that YOU are the only one with the power to change your thinking.  If you want to lose the baggage, there is nobody else but you who can adequately unpack the junk, donate stuff that no longer fits into your current life,  and choose which items you will tailor to make them current.

4.  Create an action plan.  You can’t think your way out of your thoughts.  Ask for help.  Read a book, sign up for  therapy.  Check out coaching, peruse our website. Keep focused on your goal of ridding yourself of the baggage that has been holding you back from MANifesting Love.

Finally, be kind to yourself, and understand that it’s not going to happen overnight.  You are going to stumble, and sometimes it will feel like an uphill journey.  Other days, it may not feel like you are moving at all.  But if you get the appropriate help and stick with it, you will find yourself baggage-free, and well on your way to that amazing relationship you’ve been waiting for.