Just when I seemed to forget that there are so many women who have not yet discovered the joy of dating with dignity (a.k.a. “Lost Girls), I get to hear stories from some of my male clients who reveal the behaviors of women on the dating scene in Los Angeles. While many would be shocked to hear what happens across dinner tables, in apartments, and on the telephone daily, the truth is that is happens every day. Repeatedly.
I want to take this opportunity to be clear. If you are guilty of any of the following behaviors, I invite you to STOP immediately. As they say, “do not pass go. Do not collect $200.” Just stop.
Here’s the official “Yikes. This Sounds Like Me” checklist. (And in answer to your question, I did NOT make this up!)
1. You tell the man you are sitting across from, on the first, date that you have “been looking for someone just like him.”
2. You send him texts before the first date, or immediately after referring to him as “babe” or “honey.” Occasionally you use “sweetheart” to mix it up.
3. When invited up to “his place,” (the first red flag is that she says yes to coming up to his place on the first or second date) you begin to comment how your cats would love his patio.
4. You ask him what his mortgage payments are, then tell him sweetly how nice it would be if you could combine your assets to “move on up” together one day (Yes, this happened on a first date, I swear.)
5. You tell him you could “see the two of you together” because you like his “vibe.”
I won’t go on. You get the point. If, in fact, you (or your best friend, sister or niece) have done or said these things before, be assured that you are in great company. The remedy? Stop. Think. And breathe. Then, spend some time perusing datingwithdignity.com. Make some tea. Read a few blogs. Check out the CoMENtary. Download some freebie audio tele-classes. And look into attending an upcoming event. In the meantime, remember this….
There are many former “Lost Girls” who have become Dignity Daters, now living a life filled with love, quality men, and joy. And you never know, it can happens to the best of them.
In fact, one of those former “Lost Girls” might just be the author of this blog.