It’s Monday dignity daters, and that means it’s time for the much loved Question and Answer blog. In response to the much anticipated ASK the Expert call this Thursday from 6:00-7:00 pm PST with America’s “What’s Next expert, Lisa Steadman, we have received many questions regarding image, first date tips, and suggested scripts to ensure you get the 2nd date.
To wet your appetite, take a look at these 10 tips designed to help you empower yourself to take control of dating in 2010. In preparation for designing your next date, set a specific intention before you meet someone new. Be proactive! Design your date by embracing your feminine power. Instead of reacting to your perceptions of what he might think or feel, ensure that you stay in the moment, bringing your authentic, soft and compassionate side to the table. Take your intention to the next level by incorporating these tips into the intention you set. The result? Increased confidence, self love, and dating success.
10. Don’t dress to promote your wing wang or your sexy thang! Your image shouts who you are, AND what you are looking for. If you are looking for a long term relationship, wear something that says you are classy AND sexy. Remember, the right guy who is also looking for the real deal wants a woman he can bring home to mom.
9. Don’t suggest where to go, what to do, or tell him exactly what you want to do on the date. Men need to be empowered to be men. Let him call the shots! Even of he asks, tell him to suprise you!
8. Become good at “joyful receiving.” Dont forget to say yes when he is chivalrous. If he offers you his jacket, holds open the door or offers to pay, let him! Be feminine and remember to be gracious and appreciative. Doing this will once again empower him to access his masculine energy which ultimately makes him more attracted to you.
7. Dont complain, criticize or judge while you are on the date. Let him know how much you enjoy the restaurant, even if Thai food isn’t your favorite!
6. Don’t get too personal and “over-share” those things which might be a misrepresentation of who you are. If you are in debt, your dad is ill, or you have been confused about what you want to be when you grow up forever, save it for later. The object of the first date is to get a second date. Don’t make it too easy for someone to rule you out based on a false assumption made out of context.
5. Don’t be insecure. Be authentic. Be YOU. All men I have interviewed during my 25 year career tell me that confidence is the biggest turn-on when it comes to finding long-term love.
4. Don’t bring work, a fight with your boss or best friend, or your bad day with you on the date. Make sure you leave the past where it belongs, in the past. Be present, attentive and kind once you get on the date. And remember, when he asks “how was your day,” put a positive spin on the truth, and then move on!
3. Don’t do all the talking, or be the girl who says nothing but “yes,” or “no,” when asked questions. When you are on a date, focus on having the best connection you can with the person sitting across from you by being a good listener. In addition, ask “open-ended,” thought-provoking questions which require more than yes and no responses.
2. Don’t decide in the first three minutes that this one “is not a match.” Instead, go on a minimum of 3-5 dates with him before you decide to move on. Most couples who end up in lasting relationships will tell you that they slowly got to know the other person, and that chemistry and sparks intensified as they got to know their partner better.
1. Don’t have intercourse on the first date. At Dating With Dignity we call it “The Power of No.” Men who were interviewed and have appeared on an array of Dating With Dignity Man Panels all report that they are more likely to be intrigued by a woman who has the confidence to say “no” to sex. Most important, a man who is really looking for love will be willing to wait, even as long as 2-3 months, if he is seriously into YOU.