It’s almost Thanksgiving time, and while I’m clearly thinking about turkey, time with family and the drive to Scottsdale where my family lives, I am also thinking about how gratitude has helped transform my life. One of the Dating With Dignity foundation principles involves the awareness that “like attracts like,” meaning that it is imperative to become aware of how your negative thoughts and beliefs will impact who you are meeting when you are out searching for a potential partner. Thinking that “all women in LA are flakes,” or that “all men won’t stay with me unless I sleep with them straight away,” will, in fact, ensure that those are the people whom you are attracting into your life. Why? Because, “like attracts like.”
“Fine,” you say. “I’ll buy it.” But then, you ask, “What’s next?” How does one simply change their beliefs if they think, in their heart of hearts, that these thoughts and the accompanying feelings are the TRUTH. It’s a tricky challenge, but there are several things you can do today to begin shifting your thoughts, create positive, healing, anabolic energy, and start to attract what you WANT into your life, instead of those things and people you don’t want.
STEP 1: Adopt an attitude of gratitude. Start each day by thinking of those things for which you are grateful. Life sucks these days? Don’t despair. How about starting with the fact that you woke up, are breathing and are blessed enough to have the physical health to stand up and walk to the toilet. Throughout the day, remember to adopt this positive attitude. Have a nifty wireless device? Go to your “notes” section whenever things go wrong, and jot down something for which you are grateful. No nifty device? No worries. How about using a small notebook and pen? Carry it with you, put it in your car, and begin to focus on the positive! At the end of the day review your list, take pause to acknowledge those things for which you are grateful, and end the day.
STEP 2: Do something NICE for someone else. To begin feeling good about yourself and your life it is imperative you step outside yourself and possible victim-like thinking. Here are a few easy suggestions to positively impact the life of a fellow human being:
1. See a parking meter running low while you’re out during errands? Throw in a quarter or dime! Giving this anonymous gift will surely be appreciated, plus it will most likely make you feel good, and prevent someone else from experiencing frustration.
2. Do you ever find yourself in the grocery line with dozens of items while the person behind you has just a few? Invite him or her to go ahead of you. Smile, and enjoy his/her gratitude at your kindness.
3. Want to be really crazy, nice? When you are driving, let someone turn in front of you, stop for a pedestrian, or give someone else the primo parking place, even if you are looking for one too.
STEP 3: Begin to practice connecting to what is important to you. Try meditation, yoga or taking time to sit quietly in a safe, sacred space once per day. For additional support in learning how to do this effectively, email me at DatingWithDignity@gmail.com and I will send you a downloadable MP3 called “The Deep Centering Technique” I have recorded which will help you focus inward, meditate on the abundance you do have in your life, and help you begin to raise your energetic levels. The long-term result of practicing these principles over the next four weeks? A new outlook which will ultimately enable you to attract positive, quality men and women into your life as you walk the road to finding love, plus increased fulfillment in all areas of your life.
Remember, in taking responsibility for your attitude, thoughts, feelings and actions you can begin to CREATE unlimited happiness. Try it. Not only will you feel better, more fulfilled and increase your self esteem, but you will ultimately begin to move towards finding long-term love and relationship.