Dating With Dignity

By Angelica Martin, DWD Marketing Assistant

I read an article a few weeks ago which claimed that a person’s dating style is directly correlated to his/her shopping style.  The theory primarily is this: People who search relentlessly to find the absolute perfect item tend to be unhappier and less fulfilled in relationships, whereas an individual who finds an item that is “good enough,” tends to have more relationship success.

Could this be true?  Could all my relationship woes be attributed to the fact that, for as long as I can remember, I’ve had an irrational need to search high and low for the flawless little black dress, or the perfectly distressed leather jacket, casting aside countless items that I deemed merely satisfactory in the process?

I decided to ponder this theory as I shopped for boots, the one item I decided I was going to splurge on this season.   I had a picture in my mind of what I wanted, and I found them immediately, at the first store I went to.  They were Frye boots, cognac, knee high, and more than a little more than I could afford.  But, my God, they were exactly what I was looking for.

I didn’t try them on right away; I knew what would happen if I did.  I’d fall in love, and I just wasn’t sure yet.  The Frye boots were a classic and I could wear them for years, but I started thinking about all the other boots I’d seen this season; the over the knee, the suede, the slouchy.  I could buy five other pairs for the price of my Fryes.  Was I willing to give all of them up for this one pair?

I couldn’t make a decision, so I went without.  I had NO boots for weeks.  I knew I loved those Frye boots, but I just couldn’t shake the feeling that the cost was too high.  I knew there was no way I would be able to make those boots mine until I looked everywhere else. And I did, look everywhere else.  I perused outlet malls, shopped online, and hit every boot sale within a twenty mile radius of my home.

While I found a few that were okay, I knew in my heart what I wanted, and none of the other boots felt quite right.   As I was diligently and a bit irrationally searching, a strange dynamic began to emerge.  It seemed that now, the less desirable boots were too expensive because I wasn’t willing to settle, no matter what the price.

It wasn’t until I became aware of this dynamic that I realized I didn’t want “good enough,” even if it meant forgoing momentary happiness.  I didn’t want five for the price of one.  I wanted one, my one.  So I marched right into Nordstrom, credit card in hand and determination in heart, and bought my boots.  And even though I usually buy my shoes half a size smaller, this time I opted for my true size.  Because when you find something so perfect, you want it to fit just right.

So, while I don’t mean to dispute the contents of the article, the search was worth it, and the same can be said for my relationship history.  I may have taken the long way, and I may have tried on my fair share of duds, and I may not have emerged entirely unscathed, but I remain hopeful.  I know my perfect pair is out there, and having shopped around, I also know it won’t be long until I find it.