Dating With Dignity

While I intended to write a blog today discussing internet dating pitfalls, something critical came up today in the Dating With Dignity office.  Angelica, the Marketing Assistant, made a mistake.  Here is her story.

The bottom line:  Listen and learn.

And then…

don’t hit send.

By Angelica Martin, Dating With Dignity Marketing Assistant

Ex Rx; Don’t Hit Send!

I have something embarrassing to share with you all today: I’ve made a mistake. Maybe awful, maybe not, but I’m sharing it with you in the hopes that you will remember my lapse in judgment should you ever find yourself in a similarly dreadful situation.

I emailed an ex last night. And he’s not just any ex. He’s an ex that shattered my sense of strength until I couldn’t recognize the needy, blubbering mess I had become. He’s an ex that never should have been an ex to begin with because we never, ever should have been together. He’s an ex that immediately following our less than respectable ending entered into a relationship with another woman. In the month since this has happened I have found myself stumbling in between a myriad of different emotions, from confusion, to self-pity, to misguided determination.

I want to let you know that I have been strong. I haven’t called, texted, or emailed since that last conversation. Of course it’s been difficult, but I have assured myself in moments of weakness that, although I am feeling desperately in need of some sort of explanation or closure now, as time goes on that need will dissipate, until this situation simply will not matter any longer. Yet last night, I inexplicably disregarded my newly acquired strength, dismissed all of my convictions, and clicked send.

Well, he hasn’t responded. And I have been informed that his new girlfriend is aware of my indiscretion. So now, along with confusion and self-pity, we can add mortified, angry, embarrassed, and discouraged to the host of emotions inhabiting my being this month.

So let this be a warning to you: Don’t do what I did. Don’t contact him. Don’t email him. Don’t, don’t, don’t. Whatever delusions you have created in your mind of a reunion, or even a respectable response, will more than likely not happen. Men aren’t like us. They can’t be won back with verbal tap dances, and they aren’t flattered by proclamations of undying love and admiration. They simply don’t respond to that type of thing. That’s why they don’t like romantic comedies and would rather not look for evidence that the two of you are destined by the Gods to be together forever.

Should you choose to contact him, know that you will be left feeling worse than you did before. And please, dignity dater, understand what I know intellectually to be true, but emotionally dismiss while momentarily overcome with thoughts about the past and delusions about the present: where he is right now, is where he wants to be.