Facebook fighting has become more problematic than breakups via text. Oh dear…remember when life was simple, and Carrie Bradshaw went on a pot-smoking bender because Berger broke up with her on a Post-It Note? Nevertheless, it is imperative then when it comes to Facebook and relationship, you must be dignified, appropriate and drama-free. Here are a few simple guidelines to follow:
1. Friending the ex? As is the case with all exes, you must first determine whether or not both parties no longer have feelings for one another. Perhaps you are over John, but if John has not let go of the possibility that one day you will return his undying love, it is best that John not be your Facebook friend. If he is an avid Facebook fan, it will not help is ability to move on when he sees the mobile upload you posted from the date enjoyed at the farmer’s market with your latest boyfriend. If however, the ex is currently in a relationship, is happy and you are confident that gin and tonics will never lead to sex, then rest assured you can friend John.
2. Don’t send friend requests to men you want to date. Don’t kid yourself, sending a friend request to Brad, the guy you met at the bar, hiking trail or at the gym does not help your long-term chances of being asked on a date. Let Brad pursue you, friend you, Myspace you and most definitely, IM you first. If Brad does IM you, accept and then keep the conversation short. The goal is to get Brad to ask you out on a date, via the phone. If Brad lures you in via IM, he can happily chat with you, his three other friends, watch Sportscenter AND check his email. Not good. You want Brad’s full attention. Say hi. Chat for 1-2 minutes, and politely say good bye. Important, log off. You won’t want Brad to think you snubbed him, and most importantly, don’t you have something better to do with your time?
3. Be bold. Remove the relationship status information from your profile. If you are dating, you don’t want someone to make any assumptions about your relationship status from your profile on Facebook. Be dignified. Let him ask you if he must know. And, quite frankly, if he has friended you he should know your status because you met in person prior to becoming Facebook friends. I know I’m going out on a limb here, but remember that random Facebook stalkers need not know your relationship status. Let them ask directly. Finally, if you begin dating someone you like, and would like to become exclusive, the status issue becomes benign if it isn’t there to begin with. Having a conversation about exclusivity is challenging enough without having to ask if it’s “time” to change your status from “single,” to “in a relationship.”
Oy. Enough said.