It’s Labor Day, a time to reflect on the concept of work. And while it’s true that nothing worth having comes without work, effort, blood, sweat and tears, this does not hold true when it comes to dating. In fact, when done with the right attitude, energy and approach dating can be fun.
“Hah,” you say, furrowing your brow as you remember your last Internet date with the guy who looked more like George Jetson rather than George Clooney. This search for love is not fun, you argue. It’s disappointing. Frustrating.
Here’s the Dating With Dignity news flash this Labor Day, 2009: Dating could, in fact, be fun. Let me suggest two strategies to test this week as you launch into Fall.
1. Like attracts like. In the dating world this translates into something simple; What you think is what you will create. Thus, if you think mostly of negative thoughts such as “dating is frustrating,” “I will be disappointed,” “Internet dates are irritating. “ “The men never look like their picture,” or “I’m never going to meet anyone.” “Dating is a waste of time,” then this is the result you will create. Become aware of your negative thoughts this week. Record them in a journal. Once you become aware of what you are creating, you can then you can begin to effect change in your life.
2. Begin Data Dating. One of the primary lessons clients learn in the Dating With Dignity program is to approach dating as a positive adventure. View dating as an exciting, fun process in which your objective is to not only to collect data about the men you date, but most importantly, have fun while you are doing it. Dating should NOT be work. If you find yourself agonizing with you’re your friends, wondering, questioning, and doubting yourself, then it’s time to date someone else. Need to break it off? Use my favorite words. Say, “Hey, I really enjoy spending time with you Brad, yet I know in my heart it’s just not a match.” Smile. Tell Brad to have a nice day. And then create space for someone pleasurable to come into your life! When you are dating effectively, you will have fun. Dates will include laughter, friendly banter, and you will feel good the next day. Collect data. Have fun. Write these words on a Post It note, put it on your computer, refrigerator, or near your phone. Make this your mantra.
Just four more days until Thursday, which is when I will have my interview with David Wygant. Wygant, an incredibly thought provoking dating expert, will take you inside the minds of men during this 60 minute interview. Don’t miss this! Go to askdavidwygant.com now to let me know your question for David. Don’t forget! Enjoy your labor day. And don’t work too hard!