I have been recently asked how one knows if she/he is dating with dignity. Take this official Dating With Dignity Cosmo-style quiz to see how you rate.
1. It’s Saturday night, and your friends all seem to have dates while you are home alone. Are you:
a. Glad for the free time alone with TiVo, a good book or bath and glass of wine?
b. Sorrowfully watching romantic comedies, wishing the story could be your life?
c. On-line madly joining dating services, instant messaging with prospects, chatting on Facebook or cyber stalking the gal/guy you met last night?
2. Which best describes your last 3 relationships?
a. He calls to tell you that he had a really bad day, but “just can’t talk about it,” so he’ll call you tomorrow.
b. You have tried to call him for three days and haven’t heard back from him — yet. He’s really busy.
c. He calls you on the way home from a hard day at work, but wants to see you, have dinner and hear about YOUR day.
3. When it comes to sleeping together, which best describes your approach?
a. You wait until you are sure this is someone with whom you want to be long-term, and then have a discussion about sex while you are both vertical and clothed.
b. You brag to your friends that you actually waited TWO whole weeks.
c. Why should i wait? I am a sexually active, independent person who knows what I want.
4. Out of the last 5 dates I have gone on, I have initiated:
a. All five. In the 21st century women don’t need to wait to be asked on a date.
b. 2-3. I waited three days for him to call, but couldn’t hold open my calendar so I left him a message.
c. zero. He has to pursue me via phone or in-person once I have made it clear that I am interested.
5. When he doesn’t treat you the way you deserve, do you:
a. Stop dating. (let him know it’s not a match) Create space for someone else to come into your life who will meet your expectations and relationship goals.
b. Try to teach this old dog, “new tricks,” hoping that he will change.
c. Talk to him, but accept this as his “style,” thinking you might be expecting too much to begin with.
Score Your Quiz…
a = 3
b = 2
c = 1
a = 2
b = 1
c = 3
b = 2
c = 1
a = 1
b = 2
c = 3
a = 3
b = 1
c = 2
Are You Dating With Dignity?
13-15 Points Diggin’ It! You always date with dignity.
Congrats! You have the dating thing licked and could be an inspiration to your friends. It’s only a matter of time before the right relationship manifests itself.
11-12 Points Workin’ It! You are sometimes stumped, but ultimately listen to your intuition.
Bravo! While sometimes dating seems confusing, you are adept at listening to your intuition. You aren’t stymied by limiting beliefs or the inner critic that sometimes try to discourage you from standing in your feminine power. There are, however, a few polishing issues you need to address to eradicate those behaviors which stand in the way of you truly attracting the love you deserve.
5-10 Points Doin’ the Shuffle! You are tired of making mistakes repeatedly, and are ready to learning new ways to date with dignity.
Past relationships may have nearly killed you, but you are beginning to open to the possibility of something new. You have typically been a person who is dying to be in a relationship, even if that guy isn’t emotionally available. You are beginning to realize that, in fact, some men may be beyond reform and that you deserve more than crumbs.
Whatever your score, you are in the right place. If you are ready to put an end to “morning after” play-by-play, remove the words, “I wonder what that means,” from your dating vocabulary, and want to live from a place of self love and confidence, then become an active part of this community. Leave a comment, take a teleclass, call me about coaching programs or attend a Dating With Dignity event. I’m your Dignity Dating Guru….teaching you how to love yourself, so you can find someone to love.
See you tomorrow. And to my Jewish friends….I hope your holiday was filled with family, love and the magnificent vision of what the new year can bring.